the movie.. was not what we expected. it wasn't scary at all. a bit.. dissapointing.

hohoho

its been a long long time since my last post..

hmm lets see,,
the most exciting thing that's about to happen is:
im gonna watch a zombie movie at the inaff (Indonesian International Fantastic Film Festival). yesterday i already watched a thailand horror movie from inaff, called Coming Soon. omg it was so scary that im still paranoid until now. im scared of going into the shower, i hate the dark even more, and i keep on imagining that dede is actually the ghost of the lady that got accidentally hanged in a shooting from a pretend-horror movie , and that the ghost is only pretending to be dede so that im caught off-guard.

oh dear.
i only just recovered from watching mirrors.

Some things don't work out.
I was watching an episode of Friends. Im not sure what season it was, the situation was that Rachel had just broken up with her boyfriend Joshua (he played Micha Barton’s dad in The O.C) and the reason that he broke her up was because Rachel got freaked out that Ross was getting married, and she asked Joshua to marry her. Joshua of course got even more freaked out and broke her up. Rachel said to Phoebe and Monica, that the real reason that she was sad wasn’t because she had lost Joshua, but because she wasn’t really handling the fact that Ross was getting married very well. It turns out that Rachel still hoped that she would somehow get back together with Ross again, as they always did. They broke up, but somehow they always patched things up again.
And it struck me really bad when I watched that; why is it that some things don’t work out? Why do we get our hearts broken over and over again, only to dust ourselves up and pick up the pieces. Why is it that some things are meant to be, only for a teenie weenie moment? And after that, they dissolve in nothingness.

NEW HALF-SEMESTER RESOLUTION

so, after going through the first midterm, which went pretty badly, i have decided to make some resolutions.

number one.
im going to at least try to come to all of my classes, including the morning classes too, the ones at 7 (yes, the little devils they are)
before this, i didnt even try getting up in the morning, cuz i knew that i'd be too exhausted to wake up and take a bath and go to campus at that hour. it just takes too much effort. i dont know why, but i've been really tired really easily lately. dunno..
so now, im going to try to wake up. even if i only slept 2 hours that day. at least im gonna set some alarms so i wake up, even for the briefest most vague moment.

number two.
im going to sit in the front of all my classes. usually if im sitting in the back, i get distracted easily, or i start doodling in my organizer, which is so not productive. i think im gonna buy a new ringed notebook so im more in the mood to take notes, hee hee..

well thats all for now.
hmm, lets see if i can come up with some more..

its now recess
we'r still doing our presentation.
not that any of us are actually doing anything about it, but you know,
just stalling away the time,
too bad too, cuz i already have a lunch date, i'll just have to sneak out whenever it is naturally possible to do so.
hmmm
im so hungry
havent eaten anything yet, my first midterm was at 7 so i practically rushed out of my room half asleep.

the one thing that i hate most about myself is my ability to procrastinate beyond reason.
it gets really annoying, but i cant help it!! how can i stop this?
im always putting things off until the last minute.
like right now, i have a ton of work to do, including tubes and to study for my midterms (which start tomorow) and i still have time to blog.
hmmm...
cant.stop.running.away.from.responsibilities.help.me.

its been more than a year, and i've rediscovered my love of spilling out my most inner thoughts on the internet again, thanks to my Creativity and Innovation class which requires me to write a blog.
anyway, the current issue of the moment is: what you say, you can never take back.
yes or no?

i've recently gone through an unfortunate experience.
i think i might've deserved it, but not completely. i did not perform as i was hoped, and i was told off in front of several people. when i asked about further explanation, i was given an attitude.
anyway, the point is, that experience made me look from a different perspective of them, one that i dont think i can ever turn away from again. its just really hard to look at them the same way from before this happened.
so i guess the advice from my childhood friend Novi Rahmadhani is true. She said: "never hurt anyone's feelings, because once you do, there's no turning back the time to undo it, and there's no cure for it either. you're just stuck that way, the both of you, forever."
so, we have to be careful about what we say, and how we say it. i can never meet them and look them in the eye and be the way i was to them before. when i look at either of them, i will always remember that hallway, and the people looking, and the windy afternoon which i walked with the others to the front gates, crying. its true, words hurt more than sticks and stones.